by David Goldwich
There are five approaches to conflict. Your approach, based on your personality style and the other party’s style, will have a great impact on how and whether a conflict is resolved amicably.
The five approaches are:
A person perceives that a conflict exists and withdraws from it, ignores it, or avoids the other party to the conflict. People with the avoidance style
One party sacrifices his own interests and allows the other party’s interests to take precedence in the interest of preserving the relationship. Accommodating personalities will
One party seeks to satisfy his own interests at the expense of, or without regard to, the interests of another. Competitive people will
Each party makes concessions and accepts a solution which only partially satisfies his own interests. Those who are quick to compromise will
The parties cooperate and attempt to fully satisfy the concerns of each. A person with the collaborating style will
The five styles can be arranged graphically as follows:
As depicted in the above graphic, the five approaches can be arranged according to two dimensions: assertiveness and cooperation. This model is widely accepted. The fact that assertiveness is deemed to be one of two critical variables in determining conflict management style illustrates how important assertiveness is in resolving conflict. You can see that people who rate low in assertiveness (that is, passive people) will not generally do well in a conflict situation.
What is your personal style when dealing with conflict? If it is avoidance or accommodation you are bound to lose. You must learn to be more assertive. You can learn to craft messages to assert your needs. You can act more assertive by adopting the behaviors and speech patterns of the assertive personality. You can learn to ask for what you want and say “no.” But you must be assertive. Seek to identify the style of the other party to the conflict. If he is significantly less assertive then you, does that mean you will win? Perhaps this time, but not in the long run. Nobody likes to be bullied or taken advantage of, and the relationship will suffer eventually if the outcome is always win-lose. Instead of pressing a passive counterpart in a conflict for every advantage (the competitive approach), imagine the result if you help him satisfy his interests. Not only will you resolve the conflict, you will have made a friend and strengthened the relationship. Your counterpart will like and trust you more in future interactions.
Notice that compromise is not the optimal outcome. Compromise results in only a partial win for each party. Yet many people are quick to compromise or “split the difference.” It sounds fair, but a split down the middle may not always be fair. It is an easy out for people who are not willing or able to be more assertive. An assertive person will strive to maximize her outcome. And if she also cares about the other person enough to help him maximize his outcome as well, you have a true win-win. Thus, the ideal outcome is based on collaboration, where both parties are highly assertive and highly cooperative.
Here are a few additional strategies for successful conflict management:
Turn conflict into positive energy to gain real rewards in today's demanding business environment!
Visit website for more details:
Kuala Lumpur: http://www.iqpctraining.com.sg/AS-3370
Questions about IQPC's Conferences, Events or Training Seminars? Contact us on 1-800-882-8684 or email firstname.lastname@example.org now! © 2011 IQPC.